Dear Wild Tribe, On This Sorrowful Day

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Today, January 17th, 2018, would have been Haven’s 1st birthday. For those that would like to read more about the events that took place a year ago, you can read Haven's birth story here. It’s an odd milestone for sure. But today we are not only grieving and mourning the deep loss but we also choose to celebrate.

We honor her precious life. 

Her life may not have been on this earth for very long, but she has impacted our lives and so many others in her short life.

She is now free. Free from the pain and hardship of our world. But you know what? She has also given me freedom. She died and gave me new life. I've been reborn in ways I cannot describe in words. I feel like Haven's life has given me more hope than I could have ever imagined. 

Losing one of my greatest gifts ever given to me has shaped me in ways I would have never asked for and never wish upon anyone. However, it's produced in me something greater. Something I can't quite describe yet. Soon, I hope. 

Until then, today we cry and we mourn. What I have gained in my suffering doesn't take the pain away. I will always grieve her life. I still remember vividly what happend a year ago today. A mother's worst nightmare unfolding before her very own eyes. This past year I was given a choice, many times. The choice between letting grief heal me or destroy me. It was mine to choose, and it's also yours.

If you've ever grieved you know the depths of the sorrow. It can overtake you so much that you turn bitter and angry. You can choose to store it up in a box and throw away the key, while wallowing in the dark. But I knew I felt warmer by the light. Where joy and hope would entagle me. 

She has given me more purpose in this life. To be a light that shines in the darkest places of this earth. To bring hope to those who need it the most. Because, this past year, I needed it. And today, I'll need it. Hope has been my anchor.

Can I ask a favor of you? Can you help me honor my baby girl?

Tonight at 7pm Central Time, will you light a candle in honor of Haven? Can we light up this world with her memory? To bring more light and hope into this broken world together? 

If you want to, I'd love for you to post a photo on social media and use #HavensHope to spread hope to those that are needing it tonight. That would be a huge gift to my family and I. Kinda funny since I'm not on social media to see them in my feed, but that kinda takes the pressure off? xo ;) 

I can't imagine going through this without our wild tribe.

Thank you for all the texts I've received already in the days leading up to today. I cannot begin to thank you enough and how your support and prayers have truly been felt and needed.