Wilde's Birth Story | Part One
When we got pregnant back in September 2017, just eight months after the stillbirth of our baby girl, I knew this pregnancy would bring many emotions.
I knew I would need to guard my heart against the crippling fear and anxiety that was to follow my still grieving heart. The past 9 months has brought me through the hardest season of my life. This pregnancy gave me hope and I had to give my trust to God and my body to do what it was created to do, even when it's "failed" me in the past. I was created to grow & give life. And I don't want to take this responsibility lightly.
If you know me even a little bit, you know that I'm that crazy weird lady who loves being pregnant and the birth process. I find the whole thing fascinating, magical, and deeply sacred.
You can read about my other two daughter’s birth stories here (Journey) and here (Haven). (CAUTION: Haven is our baby that died at 37 weeks during my pregnancy. So read with that in mind and photos to follow. Read and look if your heart chooses. It will honor her and me if you do. xo)
Going into our third pregnancy with lots of unknowns and potential risk factors we wanted to plan another home birth. We found an amazing midwife who also is a naturopathic doctor. She operates out of a birth center here in Portland, Oregon, Canyon Medical Center. She’s also delivered a few of my friend's babies as well, so I was excited to enter into this new season of pregnancy with joy and anticipation.
Throughout my pregnancy, we had extra monitoring on this little babe. Around 30 weeks we had an another ultrasound to check on babe and confirmed the babes position was in frank breech. Now, it was still super early that baby could totally turn on its own. So at that point, my job was to make sure baby could get into a good birth position by doing all sorts of things to encourage baby to turn.
After six weeks of trying, we had NO luck.
The baby was still nestled in the breech position. I was starting to get nervous and a bit discouraged as I obviously didn’t want to schedule a c-section, which is the normal response to a breech baby.
It was at that point that I surrendered. I gave this baby over to Jesus and felt that whatever the outcome was, I simply wanted a healthy baby. I mean, really, that’s all we ever want as mamas for our babes. Right?
I started imagining a c-section, the recovery and new baby and thought it will all be worth it. I was then presented with the option to try a vaginal breech delivery with a midwife who is skilled at performing them here in Portland. This gave me hope that I could still try for a vaginal delivery since I was an ideal candidate since I’ve had two vaginal births already. But in the back of my mind I still had this feeling that, since we’ve had a stillbirth in my history, I was fearful of trying anything with too much risk. So our next step was to try to get the baby to turn manually. This sounds as crazy as it felt. I was referred to a specialized midwife who is also a naturopath and does acupuncture work. She has a reputation of having big strong hands that help encourage baby to turn.
So we made the appointment.
I had also been told that chiropractic care can really help open up my pelvis for baby to get into a better position. I tried to find someone that could get me in ASAP and no one had any availability. So at church on Sunday, May 27th, I was asking around to see if anyone knew a chiropractor that specialized in the Webster technique, which is proven to be successful in helping get babies to turn.
That day, I got a text from a friend who works as a labor and delivery nurse and whose mother also works in the medical field. They knew a chiropractor from church and he heard about my story and wanted to help. He said that we needed to act fast and would need to see me right away since we were 5 days from my baby-turning appointment. I saw him that same day and went to see him every single day leading up to my appointment. I believe the chiropractor adjustments and prayer were vital to this story's outcome.
I was 37 weeks pregnant at my appointment and the whole experience was mostly pleasant. The midwife was so gracious and knew what she was doing.
I did, however, feel like this wasn’t going to work.
It has a 50/50 chance of succeeding but I knew I needed to trust that if the baby didn’t want to turn that we’d figure out what our next steps needed to be... but, thankfully, we didn’t have to go there!
Our little babe got the memo and turned head down. It was incredible. Such a crazy experience. It wasn’t super painful—more of an intense feeling as the baby was rotating.
After that day, I felt a huge burden lifted.
My “due date” was June 16th and I knew the baby wouldn’t come before that.
For me, it’s just better to think that so I don’t get frustrated. We’ve make “due dates” more like an eviction notice when the truth of the matter is, (most) babies come when they're ready. And this mama was ready by this point and was hoping baby would listen and come sooner rather than later. However, I was mentally prepared to go to 42 weeks as that’s still super normal and healthy.
At one of my midwife appointments the week prior, I told her that I really wanted the baby to come on June 18th. The main reason is that my other two babies had double digits in their birthdays. Journey was born 11/11/14 and Haven was born 1/17/17. I just thought it would be super fun if our rainbow babe came a year and a half later on 6/18/18.
The midwife that was successful at turning the baby also specializes in acupuncture for pregnant women to help encourage labor to start. So I decided to call and make an appointment. She had an opening on June 18th, so I decided that was a great day to try to encourage babe out.
to be continued...
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