3 Things I've Learned in my 3 Years of Being A Mother
Raising the next generation of humans is a freaking hard job. And, I’m not even in thick of that stage yet. I’m still in the making babies and trying to keep the tiny human alive till dinner stage. Sometimes I get all caught up in the whirlwind of motherhood that I forget what I’m actually trying to do here. Some days it’s a battle to find clean pants and to brush my hair and eat a breakfast with adequate nutrition and protein. Also, it’s really hard to raise humans if you don’t know your identity. Something I’ve been exploring for the last several months.
To truly raise humans well you have to take care of yourself as a mom. You have to know what is it you need and to learn to listen to your body and mind and give yourself what you need. It’s super hard when you have littles demanding your attention and ALL of your self all the time. I get it. And I’m about to get it more as we grow into this next season.
With my limited knowledge of mothering here are some things I’ve learned that have helped me and it’s moving me forward into a happier and healthier mother. It’s ALWAYS a process and will always be a journey that changes with each baby, season, life stage with highs and lows.
01 GIVE GRACE
Give yourself lots and lots and lots of grace. And in this point, I’d like to also encourage you to take the word “should” out of your vocabulary for a week and see how much better you do as a mom/wife/friend. No more, "I should dot dot dot” — just grace. The image our culture paints of women and mothers are quite unrealistic in my opinion. It’s a standard that we’re held to that sets us up to fail. Not feeling good enough and shame on our moms is real and it needs to stop. So, give yourself some grace.
02 CREATE SPACE
This one is something that I feel is really hard for me but so vital to my well-being. I’m like 90% extrovert that I think is slowly becoming more aware of how my sweet-darling-loud 3-year-old is more than my heart can take some days. I’ll blow up at Journey or my husband to only realize that I’m empty, I’ve got nothing left to give anyone and I’m about to lose it. This is where I don’t wanna be. I don’t wanna get to these places but I want to value myself enough to create space. So making this a priority is going to be life or death to me in this next season.
03 PRACTICE GRATITUDE
This last one for some reason has been harder for me to make a daily practice. But when I do, I can truly tell a difference in my day and attitude. I’ve been in some dark spaces this past year and I’ve had to ground myself with gratitude and thankfulness. It’s truly transformational when I can make my life even not about myself and what I want to get out of life but what I can add to it. How I can contribute and be grateful for this life I get to live.
These are three areas that I’m still growing in and I’m nowhere close to where I want to be. But I’m just like you. I’m on a journey of discovery and growth.
Hug a mom near you today and tell them that they're doing a good job. Because this journey of motherhood can be scary, isolating and we need all the love and encouragement we can get.
Happy Mother’s Day. Thinking of all of you who have had a loss and this day brings more grief then joy.
A few notes below.
You ARE brave. You are in the trenches and it’s hard. And I’m with you and know you’re not alone. Many have gone before you and can help you on your path. Don’t be afraid to ask for help. And don’t feel like you need to have it all together. NO one does, even if you think that mom you follow on Instagram kids are perfect, they’re not. BE YOU. Your kids need YOU to be you.
To Those Still Waiting:
You ARE brave. and I see you. Keep holding onto hope and pressing into loving yourself and those around you. Jesus sees’s you and his heart breaks with yours for your loss and for your lack. But he delights in you. Know you are brave and loved. Keep up the faith and don’t let your spirit get crushed by these trials but press on. xo
Photography in this post by Kenzie