Joy In The Midst of Grief

Well, friends, we did it. We successfully made our rainbow baby. If you're not sure what that term means let me fill you in—it's a pregnancy following a loss. And with it comes many, many emotions. From amazing joy to deep fear. And one can feel these two emotions simultaneously or back to back within moments. We are deeply excited to be pregnant again. But I'd be lying if I didn't say that we're also deeply saddened at times because of the loss we've experienced...wondering what Haven would look like at almost 11 months old. Thinking, we could be on our way to having 3 kiddos but, I'm back to the thought of how I'm going to manage 2 kids again. 


Let me be clear, I do not want to rob this new baby of the joy it deserves. He or She is truly wanted and fully alive and I'm so incredibly honored to get to be a host again for life. I know so many others that don't know this same joy, and for that my heart also grieves.

This post is to serve two purposes:

#1 to inform you of our exciting news and,
#2 to share with you my deep heart and to give you a brief update on us.

So, now that you know our news!! I'll give you a brief update!

Derek is doing well working as the creative and communications manager at our church. He's truly loving it and is continuing to write and gain influence online through his writing. You can read his blog at He has had over 4 million people read his Silent Killer of Relationships blog post that he posted almost 2 years ago. He now has 10,000 likes on Facebook. I'm super proud of him and I trust that this year has shaped him into even more of an incredible human. Grief has changed us both and it's been a joy to get to work it out together and to blossom into our true God-given identities. We've gained more purpose and perspective because of Haven's life and the hope we have in Jesus. 

Journey is doing so well. She turned 3 on November 11th and is talking up a storm. And bossing mommy & daddy around and pretty much anyone she can. She's full of life, joy, and energy. It's such an honor to get to raise her and learn how to steward her heart and mind. We're still trying to navigate some new territory that the world of a 3-year-old seems to bring. She loves books, playdough and drawing. She is truly a gifted artist already. She LOVES singing and can actually carry a tune and stay on beat. She's really impressive and I'm not just saying that because she's my kid, or am I? Ok, so maybe I am. 

As for me, I'm doing as well as I can be. We just moved across town into a larger space and I'm getting my nesting on (photos coming soon of the new place!). My health has been a bit wonky the last few months but it seems to be getting better. We noticed it got better when I was out of our old apartment for a few days which lead us to decide to move sooner rather than later. We're praying that our new home will give my body a refuge to heal. Being pregnant has been great; I rarely get sick. I do get SUPER TIRED and car sick so I'm thankful I'm almost out of the first trimester and will get my energy back. Journey sure takes a lot out of me. As for work, I've been doing graphic design but it's slowed way down this fall and has left us with emptying out our savings accounts. So, please pray for us as we regain strength in the new year and for work to come our way. I don't find myself wanting to get into photography here but we'll see how that changes in the new year...and even after baby No. 3. ;)

So, that concludes this update post. We hope to do a video soon, it's just been nuts and I'm hoping that 2018 is going to bring much more space for us to create and not let our pain hold us back. 

We love you all and deeply appreciate your prayers, texts, and thoughts as we get closer to Haven's 1st birthday. If you would like to mark you calandars to remember with us, it's January 17th. We'll probably have a little birthday party for her around that time so if you would think and pray for us that would be wonderful!